Name of poster: Toochi Okpalaugo
Email: toochiugo@yahoo
Phone Number: 08036010740

PROJECTED CUSTOMER CARE IN THE YEAR 2020
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Operator : "Thank you for calling Tastee Fried Chicken . May I have your..."
Customer: "Hello, can I order.."
Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"
Customer: "It's eh..., hold........ ..on..... .889861356102049 998-45-54610"
Operator : "OK... you're... Mr Obi Olufemi Ibrahim and you're calling from 4th Floor, Mobison Plaza , Aba - Owerri Road , Abia State , Nigeria ....... Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 08037589412. Which number are you calling from now Sir?"
Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"
Customer: "May I order your Amala with Seafood (Orisirisi) ..."
Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"
Customer: "How come?"
Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"
Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"
Operator : "Try our Low Fat un-riped plantain with iodized salt. You'll like it"
Customer: "How do you know for sure?"
Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular low diet Dishes" from the National Library (Obasanjo Library) last week Sir"
Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?"
Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is N6, 980.50 (VAT inclusive)"
Customer: "Can I pay by credit card / Debit card?"
Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe Sterling Bank Plc N495, 000 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, through Sterling Acquire loan, Sir."
Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighborhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"
Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today"
Customer: "Never mind just send the food; I'll have the cash ready. How Long is it gonna take anyway?"
Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your Okada .. ."
Customer: “What!"
Operator: "According to the details in system, you own a Nilang 1974 Vintage Okada ...registration number AB 8999..."
Customer: “????”
Operator: "Is there anything else Sir?"
Customer: "Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?"
Operator: "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic.... .. "
Customer: #$$^%&$@$%^
Operator : "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 11th Nov 2001 you were convicted for using abusive language on a policeman who stopped you for driving facing on coming vehicle popularly called 'one way', in fact you were driving a 1973 Volkswagen Beetle bearing registration number WAN 426.......
Customer: [Faints]